If you want to know how to control your emotions, this is what you should remember – trying to control your emotions is a hard thing and to a large extent, unnecessary. The key is to let them be and instead choose your reaction to them.
Emotions are not our enemies, they are our friends, even the negative ones are here to help us. They act as guideposts to show us the direction where we need to go. They make us human and help us in decision making process.
If you would need to logically calculate every little decision, it would make life way too hard. Also it would be nearly impossible. How would you logically explain, whether to watch “Die Hard 3” or “Princess Diaries”. Impossible. You just trust your gut instinct and choose upon your emotions at the time.
If you are overwhelmed by them and there are important decisions at stake, let them be and postpone decision making. Important decisions are better to be made in a peaceful state.
It is necessary to stay connected to them at all times. You are always bigger than your emotions, your thoughts and emotions can not hurt you. They are in you, but not you. You are something higher, something separate from them.
Thoughts and emotions are not an obligations to act. After feeling the emotions, there is a gap, this is the place where you can choose your reaction to them. This gap is the place where you are able to determine the course of your life.
Think what is the outcome you want and then act in a way that gives you that outcome. Preferably the outcome should be something that reduces the amount of negative emotions arising.
Do not identify yourself with your emotions, be the Observer of them. The Observer sees, acknowledges, but does not react. The Observer acts. Always act, but never react. By reacting you are usually replaying the situation and reinforcing it. By acting you are in charge of the course of your life.
This is easier said than done. Especially when being overwhelmed by them we ask the question- how to control your emotions? This is not the right question to ask. Right question to ask would be- how could I improve the situation?
Emotions are here to be heard and felt through. When being overwhelmed, it sometimes means, that they were repressed and in order for you to hear them, they needed to make a stronger statement.
If you let them be they start to lose their strength, like being convinced that they have been heard. After that you can be more peaceful and start taking real action to improve the situation. This way of life needs some practice. People tend to be reactive, but being reactive can throw us off course.
By postponing immediate reaction and practicing seeing the gap, you are able to steer your life. By stop wondering how to control your emotions, but letting your emotions be, observing them and not being afraid of them, you are able to gain stability and at the same time feel more alive and be able to feel the emotions freely.
Charlie Mai is here to motivate you to take action and find love.
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